…and everything’s still the same.

I won’t even bother apologizing, I think it’s quite understandable why I have not been blogging and my feelings at this moment in time. In the past two weeks I’ve had more conversations with myself than I care to remember. Nothing’s more fun than soul-searching conversations with yourself thinking about your immediate future and long-term plans and strategies on how to get there.

A slight update on the jobfront. They have the guts to offer me my assistant’s job. My immediate response to my boss was, ” Are they taking the fucking piss??”. And rightly so. Even boss agreed with me. I don’t think by me accepting the assistant’s job I would be doing myself any favours. I think I have done enough back-pedalling and swimming on the spot in the past three years. With the assistant’s job, there are no reduction of jobscope; they will still be getting the amount and quality of work that I am currently producing .The only loser in this situation would have been myself if I were to accept that. Obviously there is the usual HR spiel of how my job’s been reevaluated. They know that I love working with the company and would do ‘nearly’ anything to stay in it, therefore the outrageous offer. Well, this is where the buck stops. Take that demotion and shove it.

Which brings me to my self-conversations. In the bath, in the bus, whilst walking, watching tv, sleeping…

I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. And this, I believe, is a kick up my ass. God’s way of a slap in the face. I knew that I wasn’t going to stay in this career forever, I may enjoy it, but I knew that it would only have lasted until mid next year. Now maybe it’s the time for me to do something that I want to do and will keep my interest for at least a couple of years. I’ve looked at retraining, explored other options. I don’t want to go back to doing what I have already lost interest in doing, and I guess this is a good time to move that direction.

All will become clear next week when we are given official notice that they have not been able to place me and will therefore wait for a month before giving me my redundancy notice. At the moment, anything can happen, but I am not putting much trust in it turning out to be a good outcome for me. Which is really ok. Yes, really.

I am not going to break my tradition of not talking about work, but suffice to say, the whole department’s been made redundant. Jobs are being scouted for us internally at the moment, but obviously with no promises. If we are not adopted by another department in the next few months, I would be taking voluntary redundancy, which will provide me with two months tax free salary.

Now, as the newest member of the department, I am now also the cheapest to get rid of. This also means that I have the least experience in what we do, which will prove unattractive for hiring managers having my whole team to choose for. They have years of experience in this field over me, who have less than a year. I am suprisingly taking this quite well, due to the fact that bacon had done the maths and is convinced that we can survive on his salary alone irregardless what happens to me. This will mean no more holidays or indiscriminate shopping for me, but at least we have shelter, food and wheels. Phew. Thank goodness bacon did not listen to me and took on his current job which comes with a huge pay rise over the last.

I am working from home today as I’ve sprained my ankle yesterday running for the bus. Ahh.. the dedication of the redundant staff…I was at work from 7am yesterday and only left just before 5pm. And this is the thanks that we get. Yes, I am ok with the whole thing, but that doesn’t mean that I am not bitter!!

So now it’s back to the painful experience of jobhunting. I am looking internally as well as externally..no way do I trust the HR people to ’skills match’ me. At least I am being proactive over it.Hey, the first person (after bacon) that I spoke to about this was my recruiter! Hahahah! Obviously they have their own interest (commission) at heart, but she got me this job which I really enjoyed, so I am hoping that she would be able to do the same again. But with the economy in such turnmoil, I think my best bet is still looking internally and hopefully someone will feel sorry enough for me to take me on. And oh, of course there is all my numerous hidden talents…I can give massages, make soaps, take photographs, make jewelry, cook up a storm….oh, the list goes on…

Self praise is indeed praise when there is no one to appreciate you!

On the brighter side, I am awaiting the arrival of smellyjoel’s little brother…he’s due this weekend:). Magges, remember to push harder ok.Lets hope for an easy labour…and remember…don’t try to be too brave ar, if you need help in pain relief, TAKE IT! Yeah, I am totally useless in pain threshold

I know I have broken my promise of updating this blog at at least once a week. I am very late, but here’s what I’ve been doing since last week:

Setting up a website to retail all my goodies and yummies - thanks to the Dreymall people this is now up. Still require tweaks on it as my shopping cart is not working and my fonts are all over the place , but it’s looking better than before!

Thanks to dreybee, design on the site looks exceptionally professional, and we’re in the process of churning out branding stickers and packaging. Lookin’ good - should be sorted by next weekend. If you’d like a shopfront as well, please do get in touch with them before the end of the promotion!

Trying to formulate the perfect lipbalm. Did quite well with the first few pots of lipbalms, but seemed to be progressing backwards with more balms going Pete Tong. Argh. Doesn’t help that I’ve got outstanding orders now.

Churning out bars and bars of soap. Now, this is one area that I am getting better at…heehee. With bacon acting as the indentured slave, I manage to get quite a number of bars out, all looking adorably cute. My faves are the swirlies:

Don’t they look just edibly cute?

Work’s been maniac as well, which doesn’t help. I am writing this on my lunchbreak whilst I eat my sandwich, and I have taken to bringing notepads and pencils with me just so I can jot my thoughts down when I’m on the bus, whether its work-related or business-related. How sad is that? I even have to put a ban on myself from soaping the past two nights just because I think I am overdoing it and feeling extremely tired the day after. Thinking about making soap from scratch as well from olive oil ect, will be reading up on that this weekend, so that’s goodbye to my time on Wii Fit and bed…

By the way, as I am trying to get this off the ground, anyone with ideas for my soap designs/flavors are more than welcomed. If I do sell it, you get a bar of your creation as well :).

and this is the reason why. A perfect pick-shaped 3rd degree burn

The last time this happened, I ironed my stomach.

What percentage of ethnic minorities live in london?
A: 49%,making up to 29% of total population of Greater London

What sports is played in the FA Cup?
A: Doh. Football

What exams does 16 year olds take
A: GCSE, equivalent to O Levels,or SPM

What is the speed limit on normal roads?
A: 30 miles p/hr

Where is the Met Police’s headquarters?
A: Scotland Yard

PHEW. At last.

I got to the test centre at 9.30am for a 10am test. Early enough isn’t it? You would think that from 9.30am they would start registering people in for the test, making sure your name’s correct ect….

10.05am: Assign seats
10.30am: Request for payment. Facilitator went from one person to another.You gotta go to another building if you want to pay by debit or credit card.No change available as well.
10.45am: Mini lecture on Do’s and Don’t of test
11.00am: Register everyone on the main PC,one by one, checking passport for details
11.20am: Facilitator types in password in PC for your practice question. One pc at a time, checking passport for details
11.30am: Facilitator types in password in PC for real exam. One PC at a time, checking passport for details.
11.35am: I finished my test
11.37am: Got results.

You’d think that since they’ve been doing this for more than a year their process would be more streamlined and less bureaucratic!!! OMG! Test itself only took a few minutes, and what’s more, my initial PC had porn and ringtone adverts everytime I clicked on an answer! I had to switch PC, and the new PC was lagging so much it took at least 10 seconds for it to recognize that you’ve clicked on an answer.

At least its over now…so all I have to worry about is my £1,000 to pay for the piece of paper to stick to my passport announcing that I can stay and work here forever. Woo!

1) My tax code have not been sorted out yet even though this is my THIRD month with the new company; resulting in a much lower end of month paycheck from the 30% *gulp* that I have been taxed. It’s outrageous bureaucracy I tell you.

2) Tomorrow’s team day out is forecasted to be fun, fun, fun, with the weather forecast at 5-0 degrees celcius and an outlook of FOG

3) I had not been studying for my test as I am supposed to. Uh-oh

4) It is official. No amount of resusication will revive my poor Nikon. I am actually really depressed over its death, my loyal blogging tool.

5) To top it up, I fell down the damned stairs yesterday, resulting in a bruised bum and aches in muscles I did not even know existed. I just hope I had not sprained my back again

However, I have actually bought tickets for my trip in February! At last! At £500 per person, this is not a bad price, really. So I’m really chuffed. Should be getting in around midnight on 3rd Feb and leaving again at midnight of 23rd Feb. Now, all I need to do when I get back to msia is to buy bacon a sun lounger so he can bring it everywhere with him to suntan. Can you imagine bacon with his top off, sun tanning on my front lawn? Or laid on his sun lounger, among the wild chickens in my grandmother’s village? Hehehe..funnee! Fortunately, my grandmother has now moved to an apartment block with a pool, so it wouldnt look so weird. With a pool that the residents swim in fully clothed..yeah, that sort of pool.

You know when you’ve quit your job and just working out your notice? All those whisperings behind your back, people not really speaking to you and generally being treated as a leper? Your colleagues and manager not really getting you involved in anything as, well, it would be utterly pointless and a waste of time?

Well, welcome to my world. After serving a three month notice at my previous company, getting extremely stressed out by being asked to stay and being out casted, I am now going through it again after a happy week of working in this chandelier-clad building.

Yes folks, off I go again. But this time I am not even serving out my notice, as I had only been here two weeks tomorrow. So now I’ve actually got a WHOLE week off next week. One whole week of staying at home to finish the ironing…omg.

But I’d rather stay at home than to come to work and earn money, getting all those dirty looks from colleagues, not given anything to do and being made to feel like a traitor. At least one thing I learn, no matter what sort of company you work for, people will always be suspicious of anyone who jumps the boat.

The good news for you, my dear readers, is that I will be catching up on blogging and pictures. Erm…hello? Is anyone still reading?

…..is definately not here in the 10 deg. weather

machauchibye…its been raining cats and dogs (and babies) for nearly a week now and the rain god don’t seem to have any intention to even slow down or stop this godawful weather. My worst nightmare has come true and now I will be facing Glastonbury with a pair of goggles. I barely enjoy non-raining camping, with the torrential rain how are we even going to put up the tent!! Thank god we have re-waterproofed the tents.

The rain is also destroying whatever plans I had this weekend. I had the clever idea of strawberry picking to make jam…yes, like last year’s delicious raspberry, blackcurrant and cherry jam - just that now we have lost our old cherry tree and black currant bush, we need to get them berries from somewhere else. But by the look of the weather, swimming in strawberries is more like it. Probably hide in the Mall again this weekend. BLEAAAHH!

serve me right for complaining that the sun shine outside is not compatible with my inner turnmoil.

dreyb told me that I think too much and worry too much.She is probably right. My references are being checked at the moment for my new role and I am worrying like crazy.It is even interfering with my work and my life,all this worrying. The stupid part is,I know I have nothing to fear.But yet, I am impatiently fearful.

Received and email from someone that I don’t know very well this morning, and was crazy enough to analyze and reanalyze what she was trying to say that I even send it to dreyb. Which was just basically an email to say HELLO. A born analyst, I am overburdening my shoulders with the worries of the world….and loads of nonexistant worries.

if this continues, I need to seriously consider moving to Kuwait

I just want to float away