…and everything’s still the same.

I won’t even bother apologizing, I think it’s quite understandable why I have not been blogging and my feelings at this moment in time. In the past two weeks I’ve had more conversations with myself than I care to remember. Nothing’s more fun than soul-searching conversations with yourself thinking about your immediate future and long-term plans and strategies on how to get there.

A slight update on the jobfront. They have the guts to offer me my assistant’s job. My immediate response to my boss was, ” Are they taking the fucking piss??”. And rightly so. Even boss agreed with me. I don’t think by me accepting the assistant’s job I would be doing myself any favours. I think I have done enough back-pedalling and swimming on the spot in the past three years. With the assistant’s job, there are no reduction of jobscope; they will still be getting the amount and quality of work that I am currently producing .The only loser in this situation would have been myself if I were to accept that. Obviously there is the usual HR spiel of how my job’s been reevaluated. They know that I love working with the company and would do ‘nearly’ anything to stay in it, therefore the outrageous offer. Well, this is where the buck stops. Take that demotion and shove it.

Which brings me to my self-conversations. In the bath, in the bus, whilst walking, watching tv, sleeping…

I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. And this, I believe, is a kick up my ass. God’s way of a slap in the face. I knew that I wasn’t going to stay in this career forever, I may enjoy it, but I knew that it would only have lasted until mid next year. Now maybe it’s the time for me to do something that I want to do and will keep my interest for at least a couple of years. I’ve looked at retraining, explored other options. I don’t want to go back to doing what I have already lost interest in doing, and I guess this is a good time to move that direction.

All will become clear next week when we are given official notice that they have not been able to place me and will therefore wait for a month before giving me my redundancy notice. At the moment, anything can happen, but I am not putting much trust in it turning out to be a good outcome for me. Which is really ok. Yes, really.

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