The day that all men dread and all women love is tomorrow – how quick was that?

I had never been a big fan of valentines’ day. One year my car got stolen. One year I had dinner at a posh restaurant – my exbf was there as well with me,but he was doing the cooking instead of eating with me. I even helped out by going around the restaurant taking pictures for lovebirds to keep as a token of their celebration. Last year I stayed at home alone whilst bacon went off to a football match. So I would count the men that I had been with extremely lucky that I had never demanded anything for Valentine’s day! Not only that, I don’t even sulk if they don’t see me. Now, are you in love with me yet?

Marcus did a list of things that elcheapo men can do for their other halves for valentines day. Being an elcheapo , here are suggestions of what a girl can do for her man for valentines day whilst still keeping her shoe fund full:

1.Let him go out with his mates. Yes, on Valentine’s day. Trust me, he’ll love you for it. All the lovey dovey that is bound to happen on this commercialized lovers night will make him miss you more and he’ll probably can’t wait to tear your clothes off when he gets back.

2. Buy sexy lingerie. Put sexy lingerie on. Tie bow. Pose on bed. Tip: If too poor, wrap body in cheesecloth.

3. Pop porn into tv. Pop corn into microwave. Remove. Butter. Enjoy. (add champagne if needed. If feeling too cheap, sparking water)

4. Watch sports on tv with him. Any sports. It seldom matters whether it is lawn bowling, curling or rugby.Provide beer.

5. Buy him a cactus instead of flowers this Valentine’s day. It’s a bloke plant(minimal attention, pokey macho needles) and it looks less gay and a dozen of deep red roses.

6. Go out by yourself. Spend time with your girl friends, single or not. Get a manicure, get a haircut, go for some decadent food. They will love you for it and so would he – excuse for not having to act like a lovelorn puppy is good enough for him.

No doubt tomorrow the roads will be filled wtih lovelorn lovers with big bunches of flowers and chocolates and the restaurants will be filled with men obligated to stare into their lovers eyes all night before splashing out half a month’s salary on a meal of grass and a silver of maet.I will be home, dying of jealousy.

Happy Valentine’s day elcheapos!

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