The seven dwarfs met up with the pope on his tour to the forest. Dopey seems particularly interested in questioning him:

“Pope, is there any dwarf nuns in England?”

“No”

“Then, is there any dwarf nuns in the whole of UK?”

“No”

“How about Europe?”

“No”

“Are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world at all?”

“No, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world”
The rest of the 7 dwarfes,” Haha, Dopey shagged a penguin!”

——————————————————–
The below proves that Malaysia is not the only country in the world where the ratio of worker to supervisors are 1:10

*I don’t usually do forwarded stuff,but I can’t help it…just proving a point that today’s kids are made helpless by the gazillion stupid protection enforced on them!!

According to today’s regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60’s, 70’s and early 80’s probably shouldn’t have survived, because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured, lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.

When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent ’spokey dokey’s’ on our wheels.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags and riding in the passenger seat was a treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted the same.

We ate chips, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy juice with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing. We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no-one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us and no one minded.

We did not have Play stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no DVDs, no Internet chatrooms.

We had friends - we went outside and found them. We played elastics and rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones but there were no law suits.

We played knock-the-door-run-away and were actually afraid of the owners catching us. We walked to friends’ homes. We also, believe it or not, WALKED to school; we didn’t rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls. We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of…they actually sided with the law. (true is that.my parents always think I’m wrong even when I’m not)

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And you’re one of them.

Pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow as real kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for “our own good”.

For those of you who aren’t old enough thought you might like to read about us.

This, my friends, is surprisingly frightening……and it might put a smile on your face:

The majority of students in universities today were born in 1986….The Uptown Girl they know is by Westlife not Billy Joel. They have never heard of Rick Astley, Bananarama, Nena Cherry or BelindaCarlisle.

For them, there has always been only one Germany and one Vietnam. AIDS has existed since they were born. CD’s have existed since they were born. Michael Jackson has always been white.

To them John Travolta has always been round in shape and they can’t imagine how this fat guy could be a god of dance.

They believe that Charlie’s Angels and Mission Impossible are films from last year. They can never imagine life before computers. They’ll never have pretended to be the A-Team, the Dukes of Hazard or the Famous Five.

They can’t believe a black and white television ever existed.

And they will never understand how we could leave the house without a mobile phone.

Now let’s check if we’re getting old…
1. You understand what was written above and you smile.
2. You need to sleep more, usually until the afternoon, after a night out.
3. Your friends are getting married/already married
4. You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably with computers.
5. When you see children with mobile phones, you shake your head.
6. Having read this, you are thinking of forwarding it to some other friends because you think they will like it too…
Yes, you’re getting old!!

Smokes-away!

” Smokers around the world are celebrating the emergence of a new airline, Smintair, or Smoker’s International Airlines. The brain child of German businessman Alexander Schoppmann, the smoker’s airline will be based in Düsseldorf, Germany, and fly several international routes, starting in March 2007.”

And now you can smoke up whilst you fly up! Whilst this is all fine and dandy, it would be like being stuck in a car,with all windows wound up, and everyone lighting up. As much as smokers love their smokes, I don’t think anyone actually like to inhale second hand smoke- even smokers. Unless I am lighting up, I abhor being around puffing smokes.

BUT apparently, they will have a special mechanism of pumping all that noxious smoke into the atmosphere, to be recycled with ‘fresh air’, “Non-smokers will find the cabin air more refreshing than on any other flight with any other airline, as SMINTAIR adds fresh outside air to the conditioning system” . Oh, how wonderful will that be, better than aircond!

In the same page where you can download the article,”Smoking does not cause lung cancer“. Fancy working for them? “Allergics against tobacco smoke or militant Anti-Smokers are kindly asked to not apply.”

Cannotstandlaughoutloud.com

Over sushi last night (and a little happy over the free champagne and pink champagne chocs) , harajukucat and I bitched over the misfortunes of others…the band of outlaws and other assorted friends/collegues. (I sometimes wonder if all girls are that bitchy, or is it just me and the people I know). A dreadful feeling of nostalgia swept over me - I had been anticipating it for the past week - this dreadful feeling of missing life and missing old friends. Missing gossips that swept from Japan to California to Singapore to Penang to KL and back to UK (dreybee you know which gossip this is!). Then realizing that life goes on, and I am only on my next chapter - there are still people around enriching life - and to bitch with.

Over the past few years I have met so many assorted types of people - something like the Cadburys’ assorted choc tin that I love. From the orange-centered to the caramel, and choc coated toffee to vodka-filled…love and hated,they had all touched mein one way or another.
(not in the perv way! Well, at least not all of them :P)

Every picture a timestamp like every page of a wellthumbed much loved book. And now I am turning the next page

Well, mine, like scores of asian parents, certainly didn’t. Other than the obligatory “You are a big girl now..”. They just one day decided that I know all about it - from what sources they don’t really want to know. But if yours did, they probably did not mean this:

The birds and the bees may be gay, according to the world’s first museum
exhibition about homosexuality among animals. With documentation of gay or
lesbian behaviour among giraffes, penguins, parrots, beetles, whales and dozens
of other creatures, the Oslo Natural History Museum concludes human
homosexuality cannot be viewed as “unnatural”.

It goes on to mention that a Dutch zoo had once organised tours to view homosexual couples among the animals.Can you imagine Australia Zoo (Steve Irwin’s family zoo) having a ‘night safari’ to view coupling of your choice - homosexual, bisexual, asexual or straight? And the article goes on to mention that one of the exhibits shows two giant erect penises flailing above the water as two male right whales rub together . Bonobos, my favourite sort of monkeys, are apparently bisexual - relations between males are ’special’

Now, do we really want to know?

Of course, like all homosexually-related exhibitions/parades/documentation, there are the usual christians who are insisting that homosexuals will burn in hell. Yes, with brimstone and hellfires and all that. And interesting theories flood the question on why homosexuality exists…my fav is:

And a study of homosexual men in Italy suggested that their mothers and sisters
had more offspring. “The same genes that give homosexuality in men could give
higher fertility among women,” he said.